The author of "The Little Prince" once wrote, "Love is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction." This is a beautiful statement. It follows then, that relationship last longer when both partners share the same values and beliefs.
In other words, real love is not two people clinging to each other. Real love can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. This means that a shallow person wil have only shallow relationships. Therefore, if we want to experience real love, it is important to first of all sincerely develop a strong self-identity.
In the case of a married couple, it will be ideal if the wife will always cherish her husband and the husband will always cherish his wife. It should be our life-long endeavour to strive to create an atmosphere of mutual respect and mutual encouragement at our homes.
Sometimes, or even most of the time, husband and wife may have different goals and dreams. If that is the case, then, a healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each other's hopes and dreams. In other words, genuine relationships should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope.
True love should be a force that helps us expand our lives and bring forth our innate potential with fresh and dynamic vitality. Unfortunately, as the saying "love is blind" illustrates, people often lose all objectivity when they fall in love.
Therefore, rather than becoming so love-struck that we create a world where only two people exist, it is much healthier to learn from those qualities of our partner that we respect and admire and make efforts to improve and develop ourselves.
From another perspective, we all know that love and relationships may not necessarily bring only joy and happiness. For example, it is inevitable that one day husband and wife will have to part through death no matter how loving they may be. Buddhism lists the suffering of parting from one's loved one as one of the eight types of suffering. In life we will encounter separations of inexpressible sadness. However, those who overcome such grief and continue to live with strength and courage will be cherished and respected by others. There is no more lofty life than that of one who surmounts personal tragedy and leaves behind some achievement for future genereations.
In life, the important thing is to overcome the sorrow that accompanies any type of separation, such as death or divorce. The vital thing is to continue advancing. Do not look back. Just forge on. There are many reasons why people bid farewell to one another. Each has his or her own thoughts and situations.
No doubt, it maybe difficult not to look back. The scars within our hearts may not heal quickly. However, as long as we advance, new hopes will be born and a new life will unfold for us.
Speaking about divorce, separation through divorce can be as traumatic as separation due to death. Divorce is, of course, a private matter whose final resolution rests with the two people involved. From the Buddhist perspective, it is important to note that it is impossible to build personal happines on the sufferings of others, and people should bear in mind as they make their decision about a divorce.
Such situations sometimes require painful reflection and forbearance. But through the pain one can strengthen and discipline the internal workings of the conscience. Ultimately, those concerned are able to minimize the destruction of human relationships that might otherwise result.
Those who realize their own shortcomings and then chant
daimoku while striving to improve themselves will definitely see their lives change.
Therefore it is through faith that we can truly surmount the sufferings of separation, whether man-made or by natural law.
